The Hero
by Prayer Machine
Summary: Eiko finds a shred of Vivi. [Old, old writing that I feel belongs somewhere, at least.]


Fenrir had never left her side. Phoenix had blessed her heart again. Carbuncle's gems were embedded deep in the shallows of her soul. Now there was only Mog left to find again.

Her little legs had grown thin and spindly, awkwardly carrying her in a skip so disgraceful that her mother would have rapped her hands. Her purple hair danced rhythmically in the feeling of her own exaltation and freedom. Her face seemed bright as the sun in the pale blue skies.

Anticipation made her fingers quiver but there was no trepidation to mar her confidence. An old friend would be returning to her, like a gasp from the deepest gashes of her mind. Guilt would finally be severed in a feeling of absolute forgiveness and remembrance.

She would go down by the shore - find pebbles she knew Mog would like and wash them clean in the ocean. As a child she had always found happiness by the sea, laughing and wondering what adventures might lay beyond the endless blue. As she had grown a little older and watched other children play in little saline pools, she had come realize that the sea was laughing with them. This ocean, which could swallow up cities and guzzle whole the entire world, chose instead to laugh with children and create for her little grey pebbles and swirls in the sand.

She knelt, gathering little rounded ones in her wooden bucket. She loved the sound as they rapped against the bottom. Sighing, she brushed a sliver of purple out from her face. Perhaps she should have went to Maiden Sari. Memories flashed before her green eyes, years stretched out on a plane of dust. No. No, Mog would like it here by the cool green bay where chocobos could be heard in the distance crying from Chocobo Forest.

Walking down by the waters edge, she poured her bucket of pebbles into the sea, freeing them of grimy algae. Her eyes narrowed, something strange was in the water. Raising an eyebrow, she leaned forwards, hands snatching the thing bobbing on the surface.

When she had unravelled it and washed drained out all the water that had filled it to the brim, she found her soul to be broken in two. All that confidence and happiness drained from her, and the pebbles in the sea rolled out from reach.

Childhood cried back to her, swimming in her belly and causing white hot tears to spill from her eyes. Little white gloves that quivered and faltered when she spoke to him but could find the courage to burn monsters to a crisp should they turn their fangs against her. A quiet little voice that shuddered into existence or otherwise would rage against the tides of injustice. Brilliant amber eyes that could blaze into the night or soften with the rivers of emotion. Soulless? If he was soulless, then what good was the soul. _Vivi_.

She held his sodding, sagging hat to her heart and lay down on the shoals, the rocks digging into her back. She didn't care. The misery and the tears poured and pounded against the shore, like the waves against the rocks. She was a little girl again, skin full of youth and eyes a blaze of intelligence. She wanted to go back then, back on the adventure that had swept up their lives before leaving them scattered and broken on the shore.

Vivi had been lost in the turmoil. A single note floating in a glass bottle had been her only means of being consoled - and her only hope. She had hoped against hope as all the little bodies of the black mages winded down to a stop. Even as the last one stood lonely by the graves of his brothers, old back broken in and legs supported by shaky steps and a wooden cane, even in the face of that sight she dreamed that Vivi might be out there.

How could the boy who had faced the Fear of Death itself be dead?

She sat up, a howling, pitiful cry echoing from her throat. Otherwise, she just rocked back and forth, hair flopping uselessly over her, mouth open in a silent cry. Her heart was trembling against it all. She had never really mourned him. She had just blamed and hated him so, so much for leaving. She had spitefully wished he was dead. All those words were swallowed now as she forced his hat into her mouth, biting onto it to quell her tears.

**"I'm sorry... I'm sorry"**she choked out between her guttering tears, sniffing as she felt her head aching from the trauma. What dark angel has sent this hat to her? Was she supposed to feel blessed, happy even, that Vivi was definitely dead? Was that what this was supposed to mean? No. Death had no meaning. This had no...

**"I'msorrysorrysorrysorry,**" she choked on her breath. She wanted to go home. She wanted to throw herself into her bed and forget this ever happened. She wanted the past to be here and now. She always got what she wanted why couldn't she get this?

When time drew sleepy circles round her eyes and the tears began to melt away into intense swallowing, she finally rose to her legs. The hat remained clutched to her chest as she turned back to the direction of Lindblum.

Maybe she should burn it? Or... Maybe... ?

Phoenix burned across the skies, epic wings shedding feathers of life all over the crumpled hat. Nothing came of it. **"You cannot wish for all life to end its cycle. How can I revive that without a soul that has been dead for years? Good riddance to it. That which cannot be recycled upsets the balance."**

She threw away her useless bird, pounding her fists against the hat in sheer frustration and anger. She just wanted him to live. Wanted her little hands back, her little voice back, her little eyes back. It was too late to feel sorry for herself.

She blinked, heart dispelling all hopelessness. Picking up the pieces of her old life, she made her way back to Lindblum. **"I'll take you to see Zidane, and Garnet. They're married now, you know. You missed the wedding. It was beautiful, with fireworks and sweets everywhere. You would have loved it. I was jealous. Puck was there with all the rats of Cleyra. I even caught Steiner crying. Don't tell anyone though, I don't think that rust-bucket could handle the damage to his ego,"** she paused, smiling a little. **"Your children were there too... They seemed happy."**She swallowed the images of the dead babies.

**"I'll take you to see Amarant and Freya, and Quina and Steiner. And then we'll take you to Black Mage village, and give you the biggest grave in the whole graveyard. We'll put you with all your friends and your children, would you like that, Vivi? Then you can finally have a big party. No.288 will be so happy to see you again,"** it was becoming all too much. So many friends with bright button eyes had been lost... **"They'll call you a hero, Vivi, because that's what you are."**

The tears were back again, **"A hero."**


End file.
